Foot Powder and Waldo

Wow! We had quite a scare today with Waldo and a severe allergic reaction. Waldo happens to be highly allergic to certain compounds, especially dust, pet dander, peanuts, wheat (he's whea-tarded as I like to call him), your garden variety venomous insects, and apparently talcum powder as well. The latter of the allergens was the one we discovered today while powdering Waldo's orthopedic shoes. Since he has the condition malnexus rhakhis, Waldo is unable to support himself properly with his feet alone. The doctors constructed a brace for Waldo that fits snuggly into his orthopedic shoes. It's really quite neat since the whole contraption is well concealed underneath his favorite pair of blue pants. Well, I don't have to tell you that when someone wears a pair of shoes for extended periods of time, bad things start to grow.
Once a week, I take Waldo's shoes and put some medicated powder in them to kill the fungus and bacteria, and I do the same with his bare feet. Well, as I was applying the powder this afternoon, his feet began to swell to the size of jumbo watermelons and they began to smell like rotting banana peels. I immediately ran to the medicine cabinet, grabbed his auto injector and made a B-line back to the kitchen where Waldo lie splayed on the tiles. As I was administering the auto injector, I jabbed myself in the hand accidentally and started screaming because the thing hurt like a rat out of hell. I ran to the sink to rinse the blood from my hand and ended up knocking an antique glass serving platter that belonged to Ms Tallon off the drying rack, sending it plummeting to the kitchen floor. In my panicky state, I tried to jump over the shards of glass, clearing all but a handful of pieces that immediately took up residence in the soles of my feet.
So there I was, shards of glass lodged in my feet and a puncture wound in my hand, lying flat on the ground, hollering. And there Waldo was, feet swollen to the size of a baby elephant, lying flat on the ground, hollering. And there came Ms Tallon, baseball bat in her hand after hearing all the hollering and breaking glass, standing in the doorway with her feet flat on the ground, hollering. And there was Ms Tallon's antique glass serving platter in a million pieces, lying flat on the ground, silent.
A trip to the emergency room and a couple of shots later, Waldo and I are both confined to wheelchairs for the next day or two. It's actually quite nice though; Waldo and I have had a few wheelchair races and it is turning out to be a good bonding session between father and son. I let him win the races, and I get "I wuv you, dahd" in return. I think it's a fair trade.
And if you are wondering about the priceless platter... Ms Tallon forgives me for the accident, but her deceased great grandmother is probably doing handstands in the grave. Oh well, you can't win 'em all.

Ivan the Powerful

Wow, it certainly has been a long time since last I wrote. I blame the hurricane that struck the east coast though, because it is difficult to blog without power. So, Ms Tallon came to stay over with Waldo and I for the storm. She figured our house would be safer than the trailer she resides in. I don't blame her though, especially since the trailer park is adjacent to the river. It turns out her home was washed away in the flood, so now she is staying with us. We call this her "temporary" residence, but I think it will blossom in to much more than that.
I truly believe that I am in love with Ms Tallon! I haven't told her yet, but I can feel it. I thought I was in love when Sheila and I eloped. I later found out from my doctor, much to my chagrin, that it was just a mixture of the tequila, bad chili, and her genital herpes. What did I know? I was young, stupid, drunk, and hallucinating.
Well, anyway this was Waldo's first hurricane and he handled it pretty well, relatively. You have to understand that Waldo has a psychological disorder called Macabre Apprehensive Disorder (MAD) so any little thing could set him off worrying. When he has a MAD attack, he begins to whimper like a lame puppy and then if he is able to fall asleep, he wets his bed. Needless to say, we had a few sheets to change. Luckily no one in our neighborhood was injured and there was minimal damage to our house, other than the power outage and the fallen trees and missing roof shingles.
It's about time for Ms Tallon to arrive with Waldo, so I have to start on dinner and finish my work. Until next time.... MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU.