Waldo's Day

Wow, what a day! Yesterday, September 10th, was my son's birthday and he officially turned 7. In the morning, I brought him breakfast in bed which consisted of scrambled eggs and melted cheese on toast, which nearly turned out to be a small scale catastrophe. Let me explain. I am not the best cook by any means and I accidentally started a small fire, burning the eggs in the process. See, the brand of eggs that I buy comes in the cardboard egg holders. Well, I used the last of them and left the empty carton next to the burner. When I reached into the toaster-oven to get the toast out (our toaster-oven is next to the stove), I bumped the carton onto the lit burner. I turned around to grab a plate out of the pantry, and when I looked back to check on the eggs, the cardboard was engulfed in flame. Being the safety conscious person I am, I had baking soda readily available and sprinkled it over the fire. There was no damage to anything in the kitchen, other than my pride, of course. Well, as I was cleaning the charred mess, I forgot about the eggs that were cooking and once I saw them smoking, the damage was already done. Since I had used the last of the eggs and it was too late to pick more up from the grocer, I just used the burned batch.
Anway, I brought Waldo the eggs and toast and gently woke him up. Well, relatively gently; Waldo is a little hard of hearing and it is difficult to stir him in the mornings. I believe the doctors call his hearing condition Timbal Deafinicio. When he did wake up in his red and white striped pajamas, he had the cutest smile on his face. Needless to say, he scarfed down the breakfast right then and gave me a humongous hug.
At 3 PM, when he got out of school, I was right there to surprise him as planned. I had Ms Tallon hold Waldo after class to "tell him something important." I showed up with the 9 candles on the half melted ice cream cake and the three of us sang him happy birthday. Joey, one of Waldo's friends also stayed after and did his own rendition of "You live in a zoo/ you smell like a hippo/ and you look like one too." This got a laugh out of us all, and sometime between then and the cutting of the cake, I got the nerve to ask Ms Tallon to join us for dinner tomorrow night. She smiled her beautiful smile and agreed to come over. Meanwhile, Waldo was huffing and puffing to blow out the candles. It only took him three tries as opposed to last year, when it took him about five tries to get the 6 candles extinguished.
The cake was very good except for the hair I found in it. I couldn't tell if it was baked in or if it was one of my own, but it detracted from the moment. Either someone at McCarnigan's Bakery is in violation of the Health Code, or I am balding. Regardless, Waldo enjoyed the celebration and we went home.
At about 9 PM his mother, Sheila, called to wish him a happy birthday but he was already asleep. Sheila and I spoke for a few minutes and I found out that she is suspicious that Jacques may be cheating on her. Serves the Old Witch right! Whatever the outcome, I am sure she will be pregnant with his child in a few weeks. I hope he realized what he got into before he started seeing her.
Well, it's getting late here and I have to go to work soon. I will fill all you loyal readers in on how the date with Ms Tallon went. Until next time, Nanoo nanoo.

Today is the Day

Today happens to be Waldo's birthday. Today Waldo turns 7 years old and if you couldn't tell from my previous Blog, Waldo is my pride and joy; he is my son. Waldo and I live alone in the outskirts of a large city which I shall leave anonymous for now. Hint: The city rhymes with “car lot ton.” Anyway, I am going to surprise him with a new bicycle that I got from a local bike shop. The expert behind the counter told me it was top of the line with some titanium alloy plating that makes it extra light and extra sheik. Can we say, "EXTRA EXPENSIVE?" I figure, the boy is seven, his old bike (training wheels and all) is turning into one big orange rust heap, and it's about time for him to become a man... well maybe not a man yet. But the darn tricycle squeaks so loud, I can hear Waldo coming home from school half a mile away when the atmospheric conditions are right. The new bike looks like something you would find on the Jetsons, except it has a neon green horn that sounds like a braying donkey.
Anyway, I am going to pick him up from his third grade class in about 13 hours with a giant cookie cake in hand and either 8 or 9 candles burning bright. I can't remember what the extra candles are for, but I think it's one for good luck and one to blow on or something. Whatever I figure out, it will be really nice. I am sure it would impress Ms Tawon. It's actually Ms Tallon, but with his speech impediment, Waldo pronounces it "Tawon." If there was ever a third grade teacher that I would like to see in the next issue of Jugs, it would be Ms Tallon. She's one of those long legged, tight dress, glasses wearing teachers that is the fantasy of many a lonely boy
(and lonely 38 year old).
I am still not sure if his mother will attend his "party" tonight. The Old Witch will probably be "working" or be too busy with her "guy-friend," Jacques (read: French Man Whore). Well, it serves the slut right if she misses her third... no, fourth... no, fifth... no, sixth child's 7th birthday party. I've never met her other kids, but I am sure that they just adore a mother who is never there for them.
Regardless, I will be there for Waldo, and he doesn't expect anything more than that. He's a good kid, and today is the day for him. It's Waldo's Day.

My Commitment to Blogging

I can't say that I am thrilled about having this Blog. With it comes a commitment to write often, and commitment is something I've never been bound to. In fact, I don't believe I've ever been committed to anything or anyone, with a few minor exceptions: There's my pornography stash which I wouldn't abandon for the world. There's my son, Waldo, whom I love dearly even if he does seem to have a distorted sense of direction. And lastly, there is my work.
Despite my one true fault in life (lack of commitment), I am always willing to try new things and this Blog sounded interesting. As my friend explained while casually talking of Blogging one night, "It's like keeping a journal... but online." At first I was skeptical. Then I realized that I have always fantasized about dabbling in voyeurism; the idea of a perfect stranger peering into my world, even if it's through a medium such as this. The idea was a turn on for me, not in a sexual way, of course. So, here I am, Blogging my brains out, committed to something other than pornography, Waldo and work.
But alas, the time has come for my departure. I am off to work, for as a great philosopher once said in a great song, "Dance your cares away/ Worries for another day."