Today is the Day

Today happens to be Waldo's birthday. Today Waldo turns 7 years old and if you couldn't tell from my previous Blog, Waldo is my pride and joy; he is my son. Waldo and I live alone in the outskirts of a large city which I shall leave anonymous for now. Hint: The city rhymes with “car lot ton.” Anyway, I am going to surprise him with a new bicycle that I got from a local bike shop. The expert behind the counter told me it was top of the line with some titanium alloy plating that makes it extra light and extra sheik. Can we say, "EXTRA EXPENSIVE?" I figure, the boy is seven, his old bike (training wheels and all) is turning into one big orange rust heap, and it's about time for him to become a man... well maybe not a man yet. But the darn tricycle squeaks so loud, I can hear Waldo coming home from school half a mile away when the atmospheric conditions are right. The new bike looks like something you would find on the Jetsons, except it has a neon green horn that sounds like a braying donkey.
Anyway, I am going to pick him up from his third grade class in about 13 hours with a giant cookie cake in hand and either 8 or 9 candles burning bright. I can't remember what the extra candles are for, but I think it's one for good luck and one to blow on or something. Whatever I figure out, it will be really nice. I am sure it would impress Ms Tawon. It's actually Ms Tallon, but with his speech impediment, Waldo pronounces it "Tawon." If there was ever a third grade teacher that I would like to see in the next issue of Jugs, it would be Ms Tallon. She's one of those long legged, tight dress, glasses wearing teachers that is the fantasy of many a lonely boy
(and lonely 38 year old).
I am still not sure if his mother will attend his "party" tonight. The Old Witch will probably be "working" or be too busy with her "guy-friend," Jacques (read: French Man Whore). Well, it serves the slut right if she misses her third... no, fourth... no, fifth... no, sixth child's 7th birthday party. I've never met her other kids, but I am sure that they just adore a mother who is never there for them.
Regardless, I will be there for Waldo, and he doesn't expect anything more than that. He's a good kid, and today is the day for him. It's Waldo's Day.